|Brenton "The Hammer" Hemelaar copped a few this week.|
Oh what a big week its been in football:
Julia Gillard feels the heat from the home insulation plan and war, The paddle pop lion loses its purr, Doomsdayer has premonition Fanta Cags will lose, and I haven’t had a Fanta mini can in ten months!! And just when the Fanta looked to be going flat the cags found a bit of fizz and produced a performance that was sure to warm the hearts of 8 or so loyal dedicated fans who braved the perfect conditions.
The shenanigans started well before kickoff when a loyal Rangers youth fan threatened the life of star player (hammer). But a miracle recovery ensued the Fanta cags would line up as selected and the game began on time thanks to the whistless ref. it was evident early that the Cags would have to setup with a 3, 1, 2 formation with Shorty in goals. The extra defender proved to be a masterstroke move from the Donk as Pete, Joel and Bobo were under pressure from the pace and good skills of the opposition team. But despite their missed shots at goal, they caused few headaches for Cags.
It was soon worked out that their defence were pushing up too far and this allowed the Cags to pick out Hammer and Hamper playing behind the defence which soon resulted in hammers first goal of the 2010 season. Just as the Cags looked to be the better team, Shorty produced a fine save and came off second best resulting in a broken finger and some cagitus as well. The Cags were down to 1 sub but were playing like a new team and Hammer again found the net before half time with some great setup support from the pacifier, Wes senior and Hamper. JT also produced a fine shot on goal only to be denied by the goal keeper. Half time was a chance for Donk to show his butt cheeks and see the photos of Shortys bung finger.
The second half began with where it left off and Pete and JT began too sense a tired Rangers outfit and pushed up to help Wes and Hammer put forward pressure on. The pressure became too much for one player who did not like the Hammers hairy shoulder or the fact that Hammer wasn’t put in hospital from his previous punch and decided to throw one of his own. maybe he wasn’t having fun? anyway the cags were again called a bundle of sticks, and the game continued. Not long later Hamper continued his strong goal scoring form and found the net with a great strike, Donk also got his name on the score sheet with a header of his own that put the Cags 4 nil up and in command. Rowtondo decided to get in on the fun and was well setup with a good pass to get clear and score another goal for the team. (I am being modest.) a late goal to the Rangers gave it a 5 to 1 score line handing the Fanta Cags its first win of the season to give its 70 members a fitting reward for their loyal service.
Some questions hover over the next week.
Can the cags be called a faggot three weeks in a row?
Will Donk bring back the f bomb?
Will Hammer sustain 3 head hits in a day again?